* s-T-oop *

If you've reached this page linked from the New York Times blog, congrats!  You are truly a chic person.  Seriously.

And, we're not defunct, merely in hibernation.  Less play for the stoop during the winterland, you know.

*Stoop Norwood*

Who knew 14th Street between 7th & 8th was looking to become chic. We oft felt it to be a negligible stretch of Hispanola en route to Jeffrey, but alas, this city never ceases to amaze.

Exhibit A, new grand boite *Norwood* . . .

*Brendan* hosted a dinner party on Saturday night at his new haunt, private club *Norwood* - pre-holiday festivities were had, cigarettes were puffed on the ultra-high stoop, and we stepped judgement into high gear.

And scene.

*Stoop'd on Phonics*

crack that shit like a walnut, v.

1. to break someone down; retaliate/initiate confrontation
2. sexual dominance:
Girl A: How'd it go on your date with Brain?
Girl B: I cracked his shit like a walnut!

attr. *Chrrryl*

* Fat Fighters *

In our truancy, we've left you high and dry for updates on *All Beef Nuggety-Nugs* and her weight loss regime.

True to form, and in fertile anticipation of the Autumnal weather, she has stepped up, hunkered down, and set into motion a shock & awe campaign worthy of even the most even-keeled WASP skipper.

We caught her hier soir reclining on the hood of this vintage auto, tipping the hood at a negative 143 pounds! *Stevie* acted as de facto sittings/fashion editor, as we captured the moment.

* Cardboard Boxing *

Mmm hmm, we know, we've been delinquent. But there is much to discuss.

To whet your appetite, please see below, *Cherrrl* demonstrating the proper stance for *cardboard boxing* solicitation.

* Stoop'd on Phonics: Homeless Ed. *

Persuant to *Cherrrl*'s primo moda operendi of life, the naming of illicit, unusual, and cruel sexual activities, the Mama Lion raised the bar on Saturday evening . . .

cardboard boxing (v.)

1. sleeping with a homeless person, esp. sleeping with a homeless person at their place.

* Stoop:Observed *

After much speculation by the proponent stoop crew over which New York publication would be the first to feature reportage re: *Stoop News*, the cat's bag has been opened. This Wednesday, *Meredith Bryan* of the New York Observer, will be dropping a piece about her Labor Day weekend spent at the *CB* studio and chez stoop.

What mischief will be exposed? What debauchery will be divulged? Impossible to believe, but of course a pink newspaper would be the first to fall into the stoop wormhole!

* Grey Lady *

The eagle has landed, as *SN* is given a stiff nod from the grey lady herself, the New York Times, on Sunday. We even accept that the veritable tenement building is referred to as our 'West Village brownstone' . . . some people say God is in the details; we know that God is in the clerical errors.

The Remix

Blog Is the New Black

By SUSAN CERNEK

Published: August 26, 2007

Are designers the new journalists? God help us, but it may be true, judging from the number of young talents who have taken to the keyboard. Sue Stemp, known for her thigh-baring cocktail frocks, has a Web site to chronicle the adventures of herself and her daughter, Kitty Babe. Hanuk Kim keeps a visual diary, which he e-mails to a select group; Chris Benz regularly reports on the goings-on in his West Village brownstone; and Hollywould’s Holly Dunlap says her site attracts an average of 80,000 hits a day. Hedi Slimane posts his austere photography on MySpace (above), which is also where the London avant-garde darling Gareth Pugh announces casting calls and requests for assistants. Even Donna Karan has given blogging a try, as a guest on HuffingtonPost.com. Her reason for doing so is clearly resonating with her colleagues: “I’ve simply gotten to a point in my life,” she wrote, “where I want to ‘address’ people, not simply ‘dress’ them.”

* Stoop'd on Phonics: Late Summer Edition*

Few bits and bobs to weave into your vernacular, mes petits, use them carefully and pay special attention to the attributions, 'cause this is some territorial terminology:

fluffy (adj.) . . . to be silently, majorly pissed. e.g. fluffy tailed, fluffed. syn. halloween cat. attr.: *Chrrrl*

ex: They turned us away at Socialista last night, and I was so fluffy.


don't you judge me (excl.) . . . verbal follow-up to quite possibly any self-reflexive commentary. use with index-fingered gesticulation. attr.: *Chrrrl*

ex: a: Your hair looks pretty.
b: Don't you judge me!


done & done (v.) . . . to be absolutely sure and confirmed of something; extrapolation of the exp. "done" attr.: *Muffin*

ex: a: Want to go to Ye Waverly?
b: Done & done.


muffin (n.) . . . major term of endearment. attr.: *Muffin*

ex: He is such a muffin.


O.B.D. (abbr.) . . . obsessed. attr.: *Brendan*

ex: I think he's more o.b.d. with you than he is with me!

* Summer Shit Show *

By all accounts, one would say the stoop has died. I know, muffins, the muffin shop's been closed for a few weeks. Well, *SN* has a real job, too, you know, it's not all just flaneur and Marlboro Lights all day up in here.

Well, we deeply regret to announce that Stoop Majora News is back in full, frantic, force. Like *Chaka Kahn* once said to *Mary J.*, "Bitch, get outcha own way!"

We're doing just that, so roll bounce by the stoop soon, get over yourself, and help *SN* get over itself, too. Lots has happened, so we're giving full *Summer Shit Show* in one false stoop swoop. Here goes . . .

Greece happened. *Niesy-Poo* played pirate. You guys are so over it, we know. Just wait for *Muffin's Ahoy!* next summer. Oh, you wait.


*Matt 2* dropped by for a knuckle knock and a catch-up session post-UES migration. Status-quo city. Stoop withdrawl is what's most important here.


We travelled to Aspen with *Kelly* and saw *Lynda* at the Denver Airport smoking lounge at 11:00am. Love that she's still rocking those fetch athletic socks.


After playing nice with him chez Belvedere, *Chrrrl* peer-pressured *NB* to smoke chez Stoop. Like a modern-day saint, they're resplendent of Caravaggio's Judith . . . don't you agree?



Death came stoopside one afternoon . . . . huwwwwwwwwwweh! Darwinism runs deep & thick in the concrete jungle of the West Village.

The Stoop Crew washorrified by two Astor-Place-meet-me-under-the-cube-looking kids nipping a siesta in the festering, mouldering cushions of this discarded sectional. Porta-stoop? I mean, it's impossible to believe!

Click back for forthcoming updates including: *Bank Street Stoop Tour*, *All Beef Nugget*'s Weight Watchers Backlash (low brow, despicable), and your invitation to come by for a cracker and piece of cheese (small).

* And . . . . Scene *

On the wings of the annual Grecian holiday, *Stoop News* has resurrected its perch, and will be eye-ing tout le monde with reckless abandon.

Stay tuned for major new stoop action, antics, and admonishments as we carry you through life in the Village fast lane towards the throws of Autumn. Baby lions will become big lions, you know, little lion . . . .

And scene.

* Dos Manos *

Summer blessings to *The Twins* who are a perpetual source of confusion and delight to all who partake in stoop action.